Life without a cell phone

From a novelty to a necessity, the cell phone has now become an appendage, an extension of your arm. I'm not going to spend any time on how important it is- I'm sure you have figured that out all by ourselves.

My cell phones so far, have been hand me downs. My first was my dad's Nokia, which weighed a ton (well, it felt like a ton) and was bulky like a brick. My latest was a flip phone that had seen better days in my husband's hands.

I had the same phone for over four years, which is a feat by itself. And in my clumsy hands, it has suffered such grievous injuries, that if only it could file a complaint, I assure you I would be tried and convicted of manslaughter many times over.

It whined, it screeched, it cracked and it fell sick. I tried, you know, to get it some help. I got the best charges, the best batteries. But I think it had given up on making my life easier.Then, there were the temper tantrums which I couldn't alleviate. It wouldn't speak to me for days, after which, possibly overcome by a sudden fit of un-ignorable guilty conscience, it would let me know all the missed calls and messages at the same time. One fine day, about  6 weeks ago, it finally died. Now, my instinct was to rush and get another. After all, how would I go on without a phone?

Apparently, I can go on without a phone just fine. In fact, it was more than fine- it was fabulous. It enriched my life: Pressing send and dialing the number is the norm now. What happens when there is no send button? Have we not seen the FB messages from friends who have lost a phone and lost all the contact numbers too? I actually know my friends' phone numbers now.  The numbers are un-erasable, retrieved quickly upon need, locked away safely in my head.

I know the date and have acquired an uncanny knack for judging time. I can actually add two digits numbers without the aid of a calculator or a pen!

Being deprived of the benefits of making phone calls, I had to write down the directions meticulously, so as not to get lost. And of course, there was no question of making last minute changes to plans for someone else's conveniences. Since I had no phone, everyone had to stick to the original plans.

Things are sounding more appealing by minute, aren't they? The finest leverage here is that I do not have to answer impulsively or make impetuous decisions. People can't reach me- so they email me or leave a message at my home phone or call my husband. So, I get to hear the matter first, assimilate it, think it through before taking any steps.

See, here is the heart of the matter: have you ever thought about the long list of contacts at your fingertips, people whom you can reach without a moment's notice? Ah Ha! It's actually you who are at their finger tips- they can reach you whenever they want. Not me, can't reach me. I speak to people when I deem it fit.  

Now, don't get all uppity with me- you know I would always take your call! :D

But, I think my days of freedom are now numbered. I can see my new phone looming in the horizon, getting obtrusive by the minute!

Lacking hindsight, what say you?

I have heard the condescending arguments about how women can’t drive or park, mostly from men who cast aspersions on women. Not that I condone them (arguments or men), but I do have a confession to make.

In the six years that I have been driving in the US, I have never (ever) gotten a ticket. Never been pulled over for speeding, running red lights or any other offence. Now, why am I mentioning this? I do have a point. Make that two points, actually.

First, I do have violation tickets: from the esteemed and diligent security guards of my employers, who had thought (twice!) that I have parked crookedly. Thus, they left a ticket on my windshield stating “Incorrect-Parking Violation”. Now, that paper is not much- I don’t have any fines or fees. I simply read, huff and toss.

Apparently, I cannot park correctly.

I, who have never been reprimanded by the cops, got ticket from guards! (Now, there is slight thread of egoistical insanity in that sentence, along with some form of grammatical error. Both of which I’m going to assiduously ignore since I do not want to digress).

Which brings me to the second item. I have been in two accidents (why, thank you for asking! No, I was not hurt). I think I may be misleading you with the word ‘accident’, which indicates that at least two cars were involved. Both of mine occurred when there were no other cars in the vicinity. Yes, I did it all by myself, no outside assistance needed. They were accidents in the sense that I had no intention of damaging my car, but I did.

Both the times, curiously enough, I was driving barely 2-3 miles an hour. I was crawling in reverse gear, pulling out of the parking spot. The first time I misjudged the distance and bumped into a monster truck, wrenching the bender; second time I grazed against a pillar and broke the side mirror. Since all this was happening, as I said earlier, at 2-3 miles/hr, I could clearly hear every bump, grind, crunch and screech. Curiously still, it was my husband’s car that was victimized twice by my… err, driving expertise.

And apparently, I do not drive well in reverse gear, in spite of diligently checking my mirrors.

Lacking hindsight, what say you?

PS: My car did get towed, for no fault of mine, which is a separate issue altogether. Please read "A Full Circle, where cops become buddies" in Apr 2010. I have new version of blogger, and once I figureout how to insert hyperlinks, I will do so. Until then...