Olio

Drop the struggle and dance with life!

Apr 6, 2010

The Misadventures of Making a Splash

My husband has been urging me to plan a trip to a water park since the weather is so great. Now, pray tell me, why would I do that? A trip to the water park entails:
  • Walking around in the blistering hot sun; 
  • Ankles hurting due to the sprawling park; 
  • Numerous fights about reading the cartoonish maps;
  • Lugging around bag full of stuff and safe-guarding it;
  • A lot of time spent on cellphone yelling 'Where are you? I'm at the big water squirting fountainy thingy'.
  • Endless lines as everyone has the same bright idea to visit theme parks on weekends with squalling kids; 
  • And my personal non-favorite, dunking myself in chlorine and what-not contaminated water.

Hrmphf.

Besides, my saga with water parks is not so encouraging for a revisit. Let's take a look at a random sample from one such visit- A ride that looked like a slide from a children's park, except it was about 120ft in height and ended in a swimming pool. Seemed pretty mild.

After the assorted friends from my group convinced me that the pool was barely 4ft and that I could not possibly drown in it, I decided to brave the plunge. They also promised me that most of them would go before me, so that they would be there to save me.

So, there I was, at the top of the slide, having climbed a slippery, wet and twisting array of staircases. I thought back to the last advice I received from a cousin-  A self-proclaimed "expert" on all rides in all parks. He assured me that if I sat to ride the slide, I would literally plummet into the water. The best way, he assured me, was to try it lying down. With my hands behind my head, it would be a easy-breezy ride. He gave me a thumbs-up sign, an encouraging smile and off he went.

Easy-breezy my foot. I barreled feet first like a bullet outta gun. The sky and the scenery whizzed past me at dizzying speed. Knowing that there was no way I would revisit this ride, I resolved to make the most of it and determinately  kept my eyes open.

But at the first sight of the water, my courage deserted me. And I shut my eyes.

Ideal Scenario: A relatively slow and easy ride on the slide while sitting up with legs stretched-out. A gentle landing on the water, wherein there is enough time to pull down your legs and land on you feet pretty gracefully.

My Scenario: A harrowing dash at full-tilt. A hard landing on my back -I think I bounced a couple of times too. There was no time for anything except a prayer and a promise (of revenge). Then I sank like a stone, horizontally.

I'm more of an air person than water. Thus I floundered for a couple of seconds underwater with absolutely no sense of direction. Then I managed to haul my head out of water, came up spluttering and spraying, as mad as a awoken cat and as wet as a bedraggled rat.

And my husband (who has sworn to love, protect, and keep me safe), standing next to "expert", both of them howling with laughter. Grrrr.

Suffice to say, I don't want to go to a theme park.

Ever.

8 comments:

Kaveri said...

OMG Purnima! You are on a "Blog Spree". Go Girl!!!
Blog-Blog, I see your professional touch. This is one of your blogs, where you would connect with many people's personal Experience. This is what I exactly learnt in Toastmasters. Your Organization of the content and flow is great.
Here is my Story: I was in the same boat, when we went to "Wet and Wild" in Florida. Landed horizontally on a 4 ft deep water. At that time, I didn't even know how to float. That is when I decided to take my swimming lessons. Now, that I know how to float, I wonder if I will still land awfully!!!!

Kaveri said...

BTW, If you are thinking of taking a swimming lesson, I am an exception. I discontinued my swimming lessons due to the same chlorine reason. I don't want to loose the hair, which is partially covering my scalp.

full_moon_p said...

Even though everyone touts about being unique, there are a lots of common threads in everyone's lives.

The kinda threads that tend to trip you!

I try to pick topics that everyone can relate to. If you don't identify with something, it's hard to keep attentive.

And as of swimming lessons, as I said, I'm more of an air person- I rather walk among the breeze than swim in waves.

divya said...

Wow Purnima!! Your blogs are awesome. The best part- as I read, I could actually picturize all the water parks I have been to till date and the experiences. How I would say no.. no.. to most of the rides and end up going on it after being convienced, and then have people laughing at me when finished. I love the way you make me think of the things I have forgotten to think of in my busy life. Way to go!!

full_moon_p said...

Div, I getcha girl! Most have related to this one and I keep hearing 'something similar' stories! Suthivalachu partha, life is pretty similar.

Shanthi said...

Absolutely...I could relate to it cent percent. Hilarious and when I finished reading it was as though I finished watching a video.
Well done !!

Shanthi said...

I still enjoy those water slides on tubes with the kids...dont mind the queue or the sun or the chlorine.
But would not consider it any accomplishment to put me through the torture of a plunge or a geronimo - ( I think that is what it is called at Watercountry if I remember it right) .

full_moon_p said...

Thanks Shanthi! :D
Will try to keep up the stds!